Humorous Conversation With God!

humorous conversationA humorous conversation with God!

God, give me strength and help me with the difficult times.

Ok! Now what have you come for?

You know it all, God! You know very well what I am talking about! Don’t you?

Sure, so what are you talking about?

Ok! You are acting very difficult now. Anyways, I guess you want me to spell it out for you.

Yes, I really want to know. You see, I have a gazillion of messages waiting for me so be a good girl and tell me what is it that you want now?

Right! You know last week I had a breakup and I was so miserable.

Yes, I remember! You wanted to kill your self and came to me. I told you to go jump but you didn’t listen. You went through your pile of trash and sobered up after three whole days. Woman, you did it fast this time. Last time I was actually telling the angel of death to pick you up in his limo.

Great. Why do you always have to tell me how miserable I am. It’s all your fault, God! You gave that jerk to me.

Oh, now it’s my fault? I gave him to you or you came begging to me asking for him? Remember, you told me he is the only one for you in this whole wide world.

Ya! You don’t have to rub it in. Now that’s all over. I don’t need any man in my life now. I have had enough of them. They are the most useless and worthless of your creation.

Good! Finally light has dawned on you.

Yes, I want to be something in my life. I want to know that I am good at anything and everything so help me God!

Sure, anything else?

I want to know and use my full potential in life. I want to be a Hillary and reach the zenith of life. I want to plant the flag and go where no woman has ever gone before!

Hillary Clinton?

No, not her. I meant I want to be a woman Edmund Hillary or Tenzing of Mount Everest fame.

Oh that one. Sure, why not? So how do you want me to help you?

See, I want to get to the top and stay there. I want all the money, fame and fortune in this world. I want to be on the cover of all the magazines.

You mean Time and Fortune!

Those too. But I want to be on Vogue and Vanity Fair more than that.

Ok, so you want to be a fashion icon!

No, OMG! Why can you not get it? You are God, all knowing and all that. Why can’t you understand simple stuff? I want to be that dude who owns Zara or LVMH. Got that?

Sure! So how do you want all that?

Now we are talking. See, it’s so simple.
I have suffered all my life with all these jerks. I have worked so hard and yet these stupid idiots screwed me. So this time get me someone who is good to me. Someone who will work for me and help me in my bad times.

You mean to say, you want another guy?

Yes. Not like the last times. Someone who will be nice and do what I tell him to do.

You mean a personal slave or something like that?

No! Not a slave! But someone who knows my wishes well. Someone who cares for me and does everything for me. Like a genie.

Sure! I get it.

Good. Thank you God! And stay with me always. I can always rely on you.

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