If someone says, they have never asked for help from anyone, know that they are lying. As a child, so a man has always needed help to do something in life.
When we were children, we were always dependent on our parents or guardians to carry us or feed us. Even to do our toilets and cleaning up was done by others. So what were we capable of, bawling? Yes, of course! We shouted our heads off and brought the house down when we were hungry or angry.
Even as we die, we ask for help and have no choices. Our dead bodies have to be lifted by others and performance of the last rites too. So we take help from birth to death. Now tell me what happens in the middle?
We never take any help or ask for it. We believe we are capable and can handle ourselves well.
Why this change in attitude you may well ask? Is it because you have a big bloated ego to contend with? Or is it because you have thousand hands or you have become a superman or superwoman?
You started with holding the spoon in your hands first. You told your mother, you want to eat with your own hands. Thereafter you started to use your own feet, your hands, your brains, your everything. You started to believe you can do everything on your own. You started to hate someone else telling you what to do. What did they think- That you were not capable? How ridiculous! You knew your strengths and to do anything at all in this world was possible.
You quoted Napoleon,” Impossible is the word in the dictionary of fools!” You knew there are no tasks that were called tough or not doable! You could do anything at all.
You were highly motivated in life. You have taken pains to learn that you could defeat almost anyone. You became invincible in your own field. Be it school, college, studies, cracking competitive exams, getting admissions, the best job in the world, etc..
But setbacks came your way soon afterwards. When you met your bosses and colleagues. They let you down, right? They couldn’t do half of the things that you could. They were the biggest nincompoops of this world. Why did God make such fools, you wondered! No one could manage your fast pace. You were too good in your job, but these idiots let you down. They couldn’t ever submit their reports in time. They were so slow and dimwitted. You could never ask for their help! Finally you had to do everything on your own. Their job too! It was so frustrating to see. And then, the stupidest boss on earth tells you that you are incapable of doing anything? He praises the person who never even understood the nitty gritty of it! That person wasn’t even there when you finished it single handedly. And he took the credit for it all.
You then started to believe life is so unfair. You knew there was no giving up on life. You believed marriage will make you more worthier and life will become meaningful. But marriage made you a bigger slave. You had to work harder in marriage. All those things you didn’t want to do, you had to! Cooking, clearing up, listening to crap and derision, incapabilities in bed and so on. You wanted to the master or mistress and here you were being told that you are incapable. Marriage was such a let down. Before that relationships too were the same but you believed that these people were jealous of your prowess. You could be the best anywhere, be it relationships, kissing, sex or whatever. No one could beat you at all. You were the greatest pleasure giving machine anyone could imagine.
And here you were being told that you are useless? Maybe they don’t know class, when they see it!
You refused to be cowed down at work or at home. But life was getting tougher by the minute. Your first nail in the coffin came when you fell sick. You found that you alone couldn’t handle it. You needed help in life. Right from your spouse to the nurse in the hospital. They all fussed around you so much. And then there was the cute doctor. You were told so sweetly to stay in bed and let others handle you.
That day you understood that you could ask for help. You never knew that people could be kind and helpful too.
But soon you knew everything came for a PRICE! Nothing is free in this world. You got to pay the full price and you understood this world is all about scratching each other’s backs. It’s business only. You have to pay for everything. You pay for working, get paid too. You pay up in relationships and get paid. Even the deities in places of worship want their full payments after they have given you what you wanted. Their heavens are not free but come at a cost.
So asking for help again became imperative in your life. You delegated responsibilities. The better you spread out the jobs, the better was your growth. Then you understood that the one who goes the highest rung is someone who knows how to get the jobs done. So your job is to make the highest use of the resources given to you.
Your skill sets are those of getting results by making use of people around you. You have the knowledge and they don’t. You became the greatest manipulator. Instead of asking help, you ordered people around. You misused the word called delegation, to doing nothing at all yourself. You just ordered or commandeered the place around. Success went to your head. Till again you were brought down from your high stool.
In late fifties, everyone treated you like an old man. They took away the jobs from you out of pity and disdain. They told you that you don’t know the new technology or knowledge. You were soon becoming ancient.
Old age brought back again the clock for asking help in almost everything. No one gave a damn. Your life became empty. Everyone left you alone. Your dependency grew on others. You had to wait for your son or servant to come to get some job done.
So going back to the roots like a child, you now had to gulp down your ego and ask for help. You were bound by this same body making you incapable of lots of things. You felt very helpless. Hoping that some day you won’t be much use in this world. You were waiting for death. Help is all you needed.
Image Courtesy by End Your Depression