You stumble, you fall and then you learn! Till you don’t fall down, you won’t learn. I have heard people say this so many times that it is no longer potent. No human being understands the true worth of these words till it is too late.
As a young man or a woman, you want to race life faster and faster. Little realizing that you are growing towards a point wherein you have to do everything by yourself. When young, you think that you don’t need to do anything at all and everything happens on its own accord. Like cooking food, putting your clothes away, clearing the bed or the kitchen, buying groceries or daily needs, paying bills in time, clearing your taxes, attending family functions and many more.
Also, if you are a man you won’t know the problems of a woman and if you are a girl you may not be aware of the issues of men. Never having bought tampons or sanitary napkins, gone to a gynecologist or experienced cramps or premenstrual symptoms or menopause, a man doesn’t feel that he needs to know that. But soon he has to face all of that in his life ahead with his woman and then he regrets losing his freedom. Likewise a woman doesn’t know the used clothes getting recycled, using dirtiest brushes, never shaving or feeling lazy to pick up stuff, paying more attention to bikes or cars are some of the idiosyncratic behavior of men.
When life begins as a couple, the habits are a little jarring but later having made adjustments they realize that someone needs to share the cooking, washing, cleaning house, dusting, buying groceries which becomes the call of life. Overcoming these is also not difficult since the need for hot sex and living-in prompts one to oversee that.
The unfortunate event happens like firming up of commitment and then the marriage. No one can know what is in store there since everyone enters that zone with velvet eyepatches. Recovering from the frenzy of first few weeks and settling down into a tedious lifestyle, the couple learns to cope up with marriage. Soon disaster strikes in the form of pregnancy and instead of them calling it a setback they accept it as a good happenstance.
Visits to the clinic are much welcome in the beginning but later the stomach bulges out and it becomes a strain. Nearing delivery the call for extra funds begins. Also sleepless nights and bleary eyed life begins. Fights and ego hassles along with strained life begins. From nappies to diapers, powders to breast pumps, feeding bottles to dryness creams, toys to prams and whatnots are the norm of the day.
Later life becomes too hectic. Dropping kid to school, buying books, uniforms, shoes, attending PTA meetings, annual day celebrations, teachers day, money needed for almost every silly activity whether the kid is involved or not. Donations and selling tickets for some vague shows of the school, compulsory attendance to school activities and so on. Could you think about all these things when you were in college yourself? You never believed that kind of world existed anywhere on earth. But it does and you have to face it.
Nobody told you about houses to be bought or anything about cars could be so expensive. You just thought you could own one of the fanciest cars or live in your fathers house forever. But soon you come to know that you couldn’t conform to your dads wishes. So you move out and search for your own place. Getting a rented place itself is tough, what about buying one for yourself? It gets lots tougher once you have to shell out multiple zeros in currency. Never had you realized that the simple and compound interest sums in school were of any use but calculating interest on housing loans becomes an easy chore.
Did you think that booking a flat is the last thing to do? There is getting it registered, painted, getting it filled with so many possessions that you couldn’t ever imagine. From furniture to pictures on the wall, crockery to cutlery, buckets to curtains, the list is endless. You never believed that your parents would have had to get into doing so many things for their own house!
You know after writing all this I am getting tired with what a human being has to go through. You too must be tired reading this long long story of personal deprivation and degradation. Where you were once a free soul without any care and now this whole life has bogged you down.
Do you know I only spoke of hardships and troubles, but let’s go further with tragedies of life now for a little while.
Friends were the best companions during childhood but once they came upto graduation levels, everyone turned into a foe. Every single friend turned into a job lyncher. You wanted the best job and they too.
Marriage wasn’t a bed of roses and relationships with parents were at the tottering end. Money was the biggest enemy for everyone. Competition in the world with literally everyone happens. Be it in office or home, relatives or neighbors, wherever you go there is jostling for space and time, even money!
This is a small glimpse of what life has in store for you. There are many more pitfalls and disturbances. Peace is what you will try to seek. You would like to have happiness and by the way, isn’t that the reason why you ran after all these things? Life can never offer you permanent happiness or peace, so why are you seeking that in your humdrum life?
Look at it this way, no relationship, no attachments or any kinds of desires will give you that never ending peace of mind. You will continue to squirm and struggle to get more and more and get mired in the twists and turns of the snake of desires. Get smart and stop looking for that in your daily life. It doesn’t exist there.
Neither can parental love or married bliss remain forever, so don’t seek that. What you have is what you should be pleased with. It’s all perishable.
There is only one place to look for that kind of happiness and peace. It’s not in your mind for sure. It’s neither in some man’s or woman’s arms, nor in some mountain top or river bank. It’s not found by reading some books on self help or going to some shrink. It’s also not found in some yoga classes or in places of worship. Drinking yourself to oblivion or doing drugs is not the answer either. So why indulge in these things which are also temporary?
Happiness and joy is found only in the self. When you open your senses and mind through your body to the external world, you will be unhappy and sad. Going inwards and asking yourself questions will open up another world for you. Ask why it is important to run after things with limited happiness? Ask where you could be lost eternally in the blissful state? Is that self God or is God that self? What is this self? Who is the self? Who can find it or who can help you find? It’s said going within helps. Meditation helps. Try it out.
If I say that there is permanent happiness in the self, then you will want to know how it happens? Until you haven’t experienced it you won’t know. So get to it fast and know there isn’t anything like it. Hope you find it.
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