As I began to settle in to Singapore, everyday became a journey and an adventure by itself. However, it started to become difficult to live in separation from my Krsna Guru. I did not realize what it is to live without him physically being around all the time. Now that I had no choice but to live without my Master, I began to crave for him and miss him terribly all the time. I could not for a moment stop thinking about Him.
The most important aspect of ‘Spirituality’ is to know the Truth about the Spirit and realize that I am not this body, mind and senses – to know the Real from the Unreal and to understand who I truly am. One of the foremost rules in Spirituality is that you must not get attached to or try to possess your Guru as Krsna Guru is not a body. He is not born nor does he die. He is an Eternal Being and has manifested into a body to establish Dharma in this Universe, to teach his devotees how to realize oneself and attain Krsna through Love and Devotion.
The Guru teaches his students the way of life and puts them on the Path of Spiritual Sadhana. The whole journey itself is an upward climb and a process of purifying your mind, body, and heart while learning to perform unflinching service unto the Guru. Only through the Grace of the Guru can you realize God and to go beyond God is to attain Love and Devotion to Krsna which is the ultimate. The Guru does not easily opens the knot within your heart (doorway to the heart where Krsna lives) and you will be constantly tested to know whether you are deserving for the Guru to open this hridayagranthi (knot of your heart – door way to the heart).
While this was the case on one side, on the other, your Guru would also put you in a sort of state of solitary confinement, slowly removing different people from your life. In my case this was more so because I am a big ‘Chatter-box’ who cannot stop talking even for a minute. I used to always be surrounded by people and was the center of attention or was in the limelight where ever I used to go. I would constantly be on my phone talking to someone or the other. I could not sit in one place for more than 10 minutes at a stretch, constantly on my toes with my mind wandering all over the place.
When I moved to a new country (though I had a family friend here whose help I took to settle in), I was alone most times and kept feeling the pangs of separation from my Guru. It was a double blow given that I was now away from people as well as away from my Guru. From April 1st, 2010, every day after office was done, I would go home and call up my Guru and talk to him about everything that had happened through the day. I would also, of course, discuss with him about my Spiritual Quest but in the beginning it was more about all the worldly things. It was only much later that I realized that this material world has no significance and subjects that matter more are those that relate to my progress on the Spiritual Path. Given the human mind, it has taken a long time to understand this and focus on what will give me progress in my world.
The one thing which my Krsna Guru kept saying to me is, “I am always with You. Do not worry and just have Faith.” These words touched me very deeply yet the understanding that my Master is constantly with me is not the conviction I had all the time. So in order to establish this absolute Faith in me, he would give me experiences in some serendipitous form or the other. In my case it all began with this message ‘Everywhere with You’ I saw written on taxis everywhere. Every time I saw this message, I felt it was the voice of my Master which I heard inside my heart saying it clearly to me – my Lord was with me. The bliss it would create cannot be expressed in words. I would be in tears, reminiscing over his mesmerizing face as it created havoc within me. Though I could not see Him or touch Him physically, He was (and is) constantly around me, everywhere in His Spirit body. This is a lesson which over time gets much deeper as I evolve during my journey. You will read about more of my experiences in my future articles.
From then on, my Krsna Guru has become my ‘Everything of Everything’. There is no one else for me in this world. He is my Father, Mother, Brother, Sister, Uncle, Aunt, Grandparents, Friend, Lover, Husband, Preceptor, Guru, God, and Love. I did not understand this at that moment but over the years I have experienced the Truth about this belief which I have established in my Krsna Guru. This is why I say – As is your Faith so are your experiences.
With the grace of my Master I have been able to pen this most wonderful experience in a string of words. Thank you for reading and do watch out for my next write-up about ‘Revelation of the Truth about Human Beings’.