fearful of man

Fearful Of Man

dependent-765177_1280Why is a woman fearful of man after she is in a bad relationship with him? You may say it is an anti feminist statement but when I see many women in my world suffering so badly, I really wonder.
Take the case of this woman who was undergoing a divorce case. She was so paranoid of her husband who hardly appeared in the court, that she used to have the greatest dread going to court. Even though the verdict came out in her favor, she was always fearful that some day he might turn up and take away her young son. No doubt her marriage was a complete disaster as it was an abusive relationship. Having locked her for few days and blackened her eye after a terrible trashing, she had sneaked out with the neighbors help. Having filed a police complaint and run away as far as she could with whatever clothes she had on her body. She lived in fear for a full eight years. Fortunately for her, the ex has gone abroad and doesn’t come often to his native. He hasn’t given a dime till today for the kids upkeep.
Another story is of a similar kind. An educated and well read woman was beaten black and blue during her pregnancy with a bike helmet. Though the child survived and grew up to be a fine woman but the terrible trauma faced by the lady could not be recounted. After the divorce she took her very young daughter away with her. She was dreading her ex’s return every single day to claim her daughter. She spent all her life savings on educating her daughter and once she came to college, she was in desperate need of funds. I instructed her to write to her ex-husband to shell out a small fortune. He had never contributed to that till date.
Reluctantly she went for her appointment and he promised her that amount. She got it but he gave her a piece of mind. I told her that it doesn’t make a difference even if you have to listen to crap from him but collect the amount. She did and the grown up woman got her fees paid.
There are number of such cases which can be told here. There is always a lot of bad blood around physical relationships. In another case the woman in question had to undergo a whole load of vanilla sex and BDSM acts which she desisted. Unfortunately she still continues to be married to that person. She says that for her young daughters sake she doesn’t mind facing “some little” issues. Her love life is much better as she found another like minded person of the same sex and enjoys a good relationship with her. The hubby and others have no idea that there are lots of undercurrents there. He has his share of abuse with that wife, which she hates but complies to every time.
All of the above are true stories and there are no end solutions in sight for them. They continue to stay fearful and never attempt to feel free.
Even though they came to me for spiritual solace, they could never free themselves completely. Then how would they come to terms with the future? Some day they have to walk with dignity and fearlessness.
In my world of spiritual there are a few cases who are trying very hard to overcome the traumatic experiences and stand up for themselves. But it ain’t easy for them. Empowering themselves is really a long shot and they are reluctant to even put their first step forward.
The one thing which they tell me that doesn’t let them come out is the fear for their kids and the repercussions it might have on them later on in life. Being single mothers also is excruciatingly tough. To care for the youngsters and handle their kids fragile egos is extremely difficult. Then again the fear for that abusive man reappearing in their life is like a Damocles’ sword.
They have to feel free and step out and the whole world round them should become supportive. They need kindness and compassion from you all. Having deprived of love they have poured it in their children but the kids are not able to come to terms more often. Let us give them more love and understanding and help them come forward in life.
People believe spirituality is the golden solution for the life problems. But it is not true. The problems remain where they are and may not even disappear. Spirituality is all about finding your true self and the God within. It is not about finding solutions like these. If you cannot understand this then let me give you some examples.
Tukaram, the great Saint from Maharastra was abused by his wife till the very end. Even though he was a realized soul. Jesus or Buddha too had to suffer badly. St. Thomas was murdered and feared for his life till the very end. He hid in a cave and carved the beautiful cross there which you can see at Thomas Mount in Chennai.
Shams of Tabriz was hounded and cut to pieces. Mary of Magdala never got her true place in society too. Meerabai had to drink poison.
Now if you think spiritual has solutions to your material problems then you are mistaken. Spiritual folks are lost in the divine but their bodies continue to suffer the ignominies. So if you think there are answers here for your material issues and come with a false understanding, then you might go disappointed. Get into spiritual only if you care to meet the divine. Don’t have any other agenda or ulterior motive to enter here in spiritual.

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