Repulsion and Attraction to Krsna – Part I

I now headed to a store called Robinsons in Singapore, at Orchard. I was going to the store to check and see if they had any formal dresses in my size. I started to wander around, exploring various brands in the women’s section and suddenly came across a brand where I found a variety of outfits in my size. I selected a few for trial and as I walked towards the fitting room, an old lady in her late 70’s suddenly approached me and requested me to help her redeem the Robinson vouchers for my shopping and pay the equivalent in cash to her as she was in need of that money.

Although I wasn’t sure if I was even going to buy the outfits which I had selected, I decided to help her out. I did mention to her that I would take time as I was yet to try the outfits and after which I needed to do the billing. I also realised that I wasn’t carrying enough cash for me to be able to pay her upfront. So I asked her whether she was willing to wait until I finished my shopping and then I can go with her to a nearby ATM and withdraw the money for her.

She at once accepted my offer very graciously and followed me around the store helping me select the garments, waiting outside my trial room to give me her approval of how the outfit looked on me. I was quite amazed with the way she was behaving with me in a very familiar manner. It felt like she is somebody who knows me very well. I was intrigued by her questions to me and how she was trying to be my bosom buddy, following me where ever I went in the store.

I was greatly astonished when she made certain remarks of something very personal to me which I had only shared with my KrsnaGuru. I wondered for a moment whether it was my Master who was speaking to me through her. Even though she was in her 70’s, she was running behind me like a young girl and trying to crack jokes, sharing her perspectives how a woman of today’s day and age should be. While she was continuously complimenting how good I looked in the outfits I had tried, she suggested that I buy them all.

She immediately approached the sales person in that counter and picked up the dress which I decided not to buy and ran after me saying how I looked gorgeous in that outfit and insisted on buying it on her behalf. I started to experience my Master’s love for me which was making me overwhelmed – just the intense feeling of running into His arms and wanting to hug him that was always driving me insane. The more I tried to run away the closer He came to me in the form of this old lady. I realised it the minute she started to talk things which were only known to my Master.

In that moment of Truth, I realised the meaning of what Supreme Divine Consciousness Is! Krsna can don any body and come to you. One needs to have Krsna’s grace to recognise Him in that form. I fell in love with this beautiful old lady who was one of the sweetest beings I have met. After I finished shopping I was trying to look for an ATM, she immediately tells me she knows where the ATM is and will guide me to the place. She held my hand and walked me over to the ATM, getting to know more about me. I withdrew the funds and the moment I gave it in her hand, I felt a strange feeling crop my entire being just like the divine had blessed me with His hand on my head. I went to see her off to the train station and waited till she boarded her train.

As we were waiting, she insisted that I share my mobile number with her so that she could call me to check on my well-being once in a while and she also wanted to fix a time the following week to meet with me on a lunch-date. I couldn’t refuse anything she asked me and I kept agreeing to everything that she said. Finally, I made my way home after trying to run away from this beautiful being called my ‘KrsnaGuru’, feeling light headed with music all around me.

Given that, I was too exhausted and wonder struck with all that had happened, I went home and crashed in my bed. The next day being my work day I woke up with Monday morning blues and it was a long day at work. I came home late in the evening and suddenly I received a call from this beautiful old lady checking if I had my dinner and everything was okay at my end. She shocked me once again with her call as I least expected it. As I experienced the love of my KrsnaGuru, tears rolled down my cheeks and I became speechless. That was the last time I spoke with her and heard her voice. After this she disappeared. As I pen this experience I see her standing in front of me with her mesmerising smile. Her face is etched in my memory and her memory in my heart.

With the Grace of my Master, I have been able to pen this most wonderful experience in a string of words. Thank you for reading and do watch out for my next write-up about ‘My Rebound Trip’.

Shree Krsna

Rajashree was the name given by my parents, but when I was named Shree by my Guru, I exulted. From a complete rajasic persona I was transformed into a devotee whose name appends Krsna's! Journeying through the wilderness of worldly life, I was lead by the kind words of expression by the divine hands to pen these profound supreme truth and greatness about my preceptor. This humble story is my deepest expression and reverence of love for my Master and my offering at his lotus feet.