What is responsive stupor? It is that which makes you unable to move or perform the silliest of the tasks in our day to day life! Why am I confused in life? Why don’t I find what I want to do? Where am I going today? Do I really have any answers? You always say, I don’t know what I am supposed to do. So help me please and show me some light. Tell me what I am to do! I have been racking my brain trying to think of some answers and still I don’t have any. On top of it all my head hurts so much. I am having a stinking headache. I need a vacation. Can I run away somewhere? I wish I could have some answers!
This is the story of everyone’s life so don’t go and deny it. You have always found yourself in a completely disrupted state, confused beyond doubts and unable to focus on anything at all. You are always running away from the scene and wanting someone to give you answers.
People try such stupid and funny stuff to get answers. Sometimes even dangerous! People go to astrologers with the hope of finding answers. The poor victim gets carried away by what these people say. Do this or that to get back what you lost. They advise talisman for certain procedures. Sometimes we seriously loose our cool and go for utterly bizarre methods for finding solution. Shamans, tantrics, unheard of rituals, ancient traditional medicine men or what not. These people knock the sense out of your logical minds and you become firm believers of hocus pocus. When the chips are down we always bank on the unnatural or the unknown. Isn’t that the reason why even the diehard agnostic will go to seek divine intervention?
Now let us understand why you have arrived at this state. The one reason is responsive stupor. You don’t believe me? When the date was fixed didn’t you say that first this or that has to happen, then you will decide on the answer? The “this” to happen is a certain incident or someone else deciding or not deciding first so you see how it goes. You don’t want to be the first to decide since you may look like a fool or a greedy person. Again, you need supporting statements, documents or proofs to decide on which way to go. Now all that is past gone. You were not able to do things in time. A few days or months have passed and the excitement is over or the flame has died down. You didn’t sign up then and now you are unsure. Do you see how laziness, lethargy, inertia, fear and procrastination has put you in an indecisive state?
You aren’t sure of anything at all. When the door of opportunity opened, you balked. You chickened out and ran away to mommy. Why couldn’t you be the leader or pioneer and decide then? Now let it be. You are more confused than ever. Some of you may be wondering what I am talking about so here are certain examples.
You are in your late twenties. You are literally on every website right into Tinder too. You found a great guy and dated him for sometime. Then one day you met his family and didn’t hit it off. You stopped seeing him then. No one made the move to reconnect back. Few months went by. You are still in the confused state. You aren’t even sure why you are searching for some nice person. You laze away, wasting all the time in the world. You are growing older by the day. Your two best buddies have walked down the aisle. One of them is already on the way. Today you are meeting them and there is a hollow feeling in your gut. Now another story.
You were getting the boot in your company for which you worked for nearly a decade. You are on the verge of signing the document relieving you and about to receive a great compensation. But suddenly you saw an opportunity in a different role. It was not up your alley but for time being it would do, you thought. It’s been a year since and you are rueing the day you rejected the deal of a golden handshake. You hope there is another one soon. But it never happens. You are stuck up in some dead end job with nowhere to go. You are confused as to what you should do now in life. Now another story.
You always believed in the twin soul concept. You thought you found your dream person. But soon marriage turns into a nightmare. What with kids following in quick succession, you are stuck up forever. You are not only a husband, a father but also a nurse and special care person. You have to care for your dad’s cancer and an autistic child too. So how do you juggle all that? With a working wife and hardly anyone to stay around at home, you are mostly stuck at home since you are in sales and marketing job. You are clueless as to what you should do next. Your marriage is on the rocks and your troubles have cascaded beyond answers. So now you are the eternal martyr!
After reading these stories, I am sure you have got the hang of it. You too are stuck up for answers in your own world. You do not have any idea what to do? Whether to shift or not to! To get married or not to, to join this course or that one, to save for a rainy day or buy that thing now, to take up that job or not, to start business or not, to break out of the abusive relationship or not. So what is the answer to that? Are there any answers there or not? Or are you just wasting my time?
So you believe there are no answers at all. Truthfully, every question has an answer but the answer needs to be acceptable by you. So will you accept what I am going to say here?
First you need to know that there aren’t perfect answers for anything. It’s all about improvisation. You take something bland and make it exciting. Isn’t that what the fancy restaurants do? It’s all about presentation. Viewing the same object with a little creativity. Remember man has being doing the same stuff over and over again but the newness is all about the different twist to the same mundane object. Don’t you shoot the same sun or bird in a different setting? You have had pasta but now toss in curd and gravy and it becomes poutine, a wonderful Canadian concoction. See, how it makes a difference to the same object. Left over masala rava or semolina can be steamed with carrots and other grated veggies to make a rava idli. A soft concoction which tastes different.
I hope you see how that same stuff is presented enticingly. Isn’t it the same principle when they make cakes? The base is the same but the topping differs.
Now coming back to your mundane and colorless life which has no direction. First thing first. Take the first step. Break out of that dreary world by stepping outside. Everything begins with the first step so step up. There is no point in getting anxious about anything. What has to happen will anyway happen. So what are you worried about?
Even if you have nothing in your pocket, why can you not assume everything will happen at the right moment. Give the universe a chance to raise to your needs. The universe is very kind and keep faith in her to deliver to you your absolute requirements in the nick of time. It has always done so and you can cite examples too. So trust the divine to support you.
The easiest thing for me to say is do it but the toughest thing for you to do is get out of that state, isn’t it so? So how does one get out of this stupor? Cranking like the old cars, watching motivating videos, reading motivational stuff, joining some retreats or classes, visiting some old friend who is a great motivator, professional help or consultants, talking to successful persons, meeting teachers or professors, going on holidays or treks, taking time off from mundane jobs, thinking hard with paper and pencil. Somewhere you need to wake yourself up by self motivation. The first push is needed for it to begin. To begin is 50% work done.
Now that you have begun then just hold on tight and push yourself everyday to continue with it. It’s easy to loose steam so be wary of dissent and detractors, demotivators and losers who would want you to fail. Keep away from such destructive elements.
Pray hard that your momentum increases and you go ahead. Lastly, if nothing else works then you know where to find me!
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