Today I’ve taken a slight detour from my usual writing to cover one of the most important experiences I’ve ever had. Superstitions – which my Krsna Guru so beautifully eradicated from my life right in the first few days of my journey with Him.
During my first few meetings with my Guru, he asked me why I wear different finger rings of precious gem stones. I began with my story, telling him how it all came to be. In my adolescent years, when my brother was due to write the final examinations of his school life, he unfortunately got into bad company and that caused him to go off the studious path. Given that my Father is ex-Navy and an ex-banker, he was quite disciplined and strict. He believed that we should maintain this same level of discipline he did. When he realized what was happening with my brother, all hell broke loose.
My brother was disciplined by my father, yet he adamantly continued in his ways. My Mother, who was also quite an old soul, did not expect her children to ever lose sight of being morally good and being a religious, devout woman, she began to pray to all the Gods possible. My Grandma, on my Mother’s side, who was a loving and kind person, could not take my Mother’s suffering and so she took her and me to an astrologer who could allegedly predict the future and remove all obstacles.
At that tender, influential age, I began to believe in trying to find solutions through these irrational kind of causality. Given that I had a turbulent childhood – my brother’s descent, family financial issues, and the list being endless – I was tired and therefore eager to find solutions through any means to progress in my life. Yet, no matter which astrologer my Mother visited and performed all sorts of ‘Pariharams’, prescribed by these so called Godman, nothing seemed to be working out. It felt as if, no matter how hard you try to escape your problem, something was working against us with an opposing, powerful force.
Everyday became a struggle. I would close the door on one problem and the next would be waiting at the next door. It became terrible to live life like that – a constant struggle for everything! I couldn’t understand why these things were happening to us and of course, I never found an answer anywhere. Continuing these Pariharams (rituals and offerings) was a sort of a last resort – performing these ritualistic acts for all the Gods and Goddesses in this world. I found myself wearing my birth stone, different amulets, performing sacrifices and even visiting countless temples in the most obscure places in India.
My list was endless – I wanted a better life, a good job, my dream man, financial stability, peace and harmony in my family. I wanted to ensure all our problems were resolved overnight. I met with people from all walks of life in this business that feeds on people’s superstition – palm readers, astrologers, you name it! If someone referred another, I would go to them without thinking twice, expecting to find solutions to my problems, expecting some sort of magic or miracle to happen.
Yet, no matter how many Gods and Goddesses I prayed to, no matter how many rituals I performed, nothing seemed to change and the river of life continued to flow rapidly, and I felt the overwhelming rush of the powerful water current. However, come what might, I never gave up hope. I continued relentlessly down my path until I finally met my ray of hope, my Guru, who transformed my world.
When I explained all of the above to Him, He very lovingly and gently gave me my answer and with one fell swoop he touched my heart and from then I have never gone back to that world. What he explained is, if I had borrowed some money in my previous life shouldn’t I return back? And if I do not repay and cheated, or forgot to pay the person back, maybe in the event that the other person died without this account being settled, then what happens in that case? This is called ‘action’ which was performed and now it has become a ‘Karma’.
Based on this, a situation would be created where the other person and I would need to be born to settle that account in which I would need to repay the dues that I owe to him or her with interest. This calculation is not even so simple as it is an incredibly complicated affair, beyond all human being’s ken and understanding. Karma is a subject which cannot be fathomed or ever understood. Only the Sadguru or the Divine being alone knows how it works. It is extremely complicated and a dangerous thing to get into.
He further explained to me that destiny’s rule is that I have to pay back in this life of mine for all the right as well the wrong-doings of my past lives. Whatever you believe good or bad is happening in this life, it only due to our destiny and hence one should not go after finding short-term solutions. This life or birth is given to us to expend all our Karmas as soon as possible and to avoid creating more. We are sanctioned many more lives to come back in that same entanglement which we want to get free from.
He told me to face life without fear and only to have faith in God and never to believe in these sorts of irrational remedies or quick fixes and get swindled and exploited by the hundreds and thousands of ‘Godman’ out there. It is our belief system in these entities that fuels these exploiters, and they just continue to thrive. It’s very simple. If you believe in superstition, then it exists. But when you do not believe, then it does not. It is only your faith in that superstition which makes it happen. For me, I learnt my lesson. It was as if I was awakened from a deep, dreamy world and saw the effulgent light shining within me. This is my Krsna Guru’s grace.
With the grace of my Master I have been able to pen this most wonderful experience in a string of words. Thank you for reading and do watch out for my next write-up about ‘Warding off my Superstitious beliefs: Part II’.
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